From Zero to 60 and Back Again

I have been going through a lot of emotional ups and downs over the past couple of weeks since losing my canine companion, Rocky. Fortunately, I have great friends that help keep my mind occupied and my spirits high.

It’s when I’m alone that it hits home and I experience those silly little emotional moments that really catch me unawares; wiping dog nose prints off of windows, putting leftover spaghetti (one of Rocky’s favourite things) in the garbage can rather than in his bowl, and most importantly, not having him to cuddle into the back of my knees when I go to sleep.

But, for the most part, I’m doing okay and a recent unexpected occurrence has made me realize just how insignificant my situation is.

My husband and I bought a little convertible a few years ago and we love to take off on sunny days and just go where the wind blows us. Our hobby has brought us into an amazing circle of friends; some who were once just acquaintances but who have become fast friends and a few new people that we are thrilled to know. We all get together every so often for a bit of social fun – movie, bowling, dinner, day cruises in our cars.

Patsy and her husband, Jack (not their real names) were infrequent participants in our “group of twelve” activities, so my husband and I were just beginning to get to know them. They always seemed to be quite happy and well suited for each other; no sign of turmoil in their relationship that any of us were aware of – not even those who knew them well.

I just discovered over the weekend that Patsy and Jack decided that their marriage of 22 years was over and it was time to make the split. You see, Jack apparently hasn’t heard the saying, “The grass might look greener on the other side, but it still needs to be mowed,” and he has been doing some alternate landscaping for the past year or more.

This news came right out of left field and presented all of us with food for fodder. Nothing could have lessened the shock for any of us. So, needless to say, they were the topic of conversation over dinner when we joined our little circle of friends this past Saturday evening. It was definitely not a gossip session; we are all genuinely concerned for our friend Patsy and flabbergasted that Jack made the choice that he has.

I won’t speak for the men, but we ladies admitted to being very comfortable in our long marriages, with most of us married for more than 25 years. But we also confessed that the foundation of our own relationships has been given a little shake with the news of Patsy and her husband’s split.

We also had varied opinions about what we would do if it had happened to us. Two stated adamantly that hubby would have been served something delicate on a plate and then tossed to the side of the road; two more would definitely serve the entrée, but were a bit more concerned and less certain about their reactions to the possibility of living without their mate; and the fifth admitted that she would be totally devastated if this ever happened.

There are probably many things that our little group will never know about Patsy and Jack’s marriage. But what we do know for sure is that the other woman (who was not a member of our group) set her sights on Jack and he was obviously a willing participant. Could this ever happen to us? Of course; we are not naïve. We all know that there is always that “other woman” waiting in the wings …….

Life is full of gains and losses, ups and downs, joy and sadness. My heart goes out to our friend, Patsy, who I can guarantee is facing something a whole lot more difficult than wiping nose prints off a window. For Patsy, there will never be closure; those spontaneous memories will haunt her every time she looks at a family photo or wears a particular piece of clothing or jewellery. How often will she read an article and turn to share it with Jack, only to find him no longer there? Patsy’s life has been forever changed and 22 years of marriage and memories will follow her no matter where she goes.

I don’t believe that any of us can, nor want to, fathom what Patsy is going through right now. But we, her friends – both male and female - will be there to support her.

And we all realize that some days it is just a bit more difficult to …..

~ B-Optimistic ~