Well, it’s down to the wire now and I’m starting to feel the
anxiety levels rise. I’ve actually done quite well over the past couple of
weeks, but the thought of only one more sleep is making me a bit antsy. What I wouldn’t
give right now to wake up and realize that it is all a bad dream. But it’s not …..
I’m not really sure how to describe the emotional roller
coaster I’m on right now. Of course the main emotion is fear, a sensation that
touches every part of my being now and even more so over the next few days. My
list includes the …….
Fear that I will be up too late tonight getting ready and
not get enough sleep.
Fear that I will oversleep in the morning and have to rush
around to get out the door on time.
Fear that I won’t have an appetite and not be able to stop
along the highway somewhere for a late breakfast or an early lunch before I am
faced with the prospect of eating hospital food.
Fear that I will wind up on a 3-day diet of ice chips like
last time – which made the hospital food look very appealing!
Fear that I will be late for check-in on the 5th
Floor of the VG Hospital.
Fear that something will happen to the reservations at Point
Pleasant Lodge and I won’t be with Willie when he checks in to straighten it
all out.
Fear that there won’t be a parking place at the back of the
Lodge for Willie to park the car off of the streets of Halifax.
Fear that something will happen to the boys when they travel
down tomorrow night.
Fear that my surgery, which is scheduled for 2 o’clock, will
be delayed and I will have to wait even longer than planned.
Fear that Dr. Bentley will find more than he bargained for
when he goes in.
Fear that I will come out of surgery with more complications
than expected.
Fear that I won’t come out of surgery.
Fear that I will pick up some bug at the hospital and end up
sicker than I should be.
And oh so many more fears that I could fill this page and the
next ………
But I have to end the list here and go pack my bag for the
journey to end the fear of forgetting something. :-) Hopefully my next post will be a bit less dismal with a lot more hopes
than fears.
Until next time …..
~BOptimistic ~
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