Time Flies .....

Time flies. Seriously. My Mother always said that when you get older, it will go faster. When your Mom tells you something like this, you really should take it seriously. She was so right! I can’t believe that it’s already been nearly 10 months since my last blog post. I can’t say that it has ALL been fun though!

An update from my last post (and I apologize for my lateness with this task):

I enjoyed Christmas with family! That was an unexpected, but well accepted bonus. With surgery scheduled for January 5^th, I got to enjoy all of the festivities. I am not sure if that is the reason, but I do have to say that I was a real trooper this time. I stayed calm (well, somewhat calm) and went in with the attitude that ‘it is what it is’. I walked to the OR and sat patiently waiting for them to get things ready for ‘my turn’. The surgery itself was standard. Both tumours were removed – both easily – but unfortunately one of them ruptured, pretty much guaranteeing that this won’t be my last walk down that long hallway. ☹

My recovery in hospital, although not horrendous, was far from pleasant. I was a patient longer than hoped for as I had more complications than the previous 4 surgeries. I was assigned a different anesthesiologist (even though I asked for my usual guy) and I really do think that makes a difference. I ended up with kidney issues that thankfully were dealt with quickly and successfully, a touch of pneumonia, and an allergic reaction to the pain killer - which resulted in a longer hospital stay. I was in misery the whole time I was there. The hospital was too hot (even the nurses complained) and I do not handle heat well. I could not wait to leave. It was wonderful to be home, but once there, I developed what was believed to be two seromas, both requiring surgically inserted drainage tubes, another factor to slow my recovery time. Thankfully it was winter and I had no urge to step outside the door. It was two months before I could say that I felt human again. But I survived.

I am now doing OK now after 7 months and the tenderness is finally easing to the point where it is just occasional discomfort. Life is getting back to normal (well, whatever ‘normal’ is for a cancer survivor). Honestly, I really don’t remember what a normal life feels like …. I’ve spent way too long in this phase of my existence.

I was surprised to find that I have more anger after this last surgery. I am angry that I always have anxiety when a new ache or pain appears. I am angry that I will always have that threat of ‘return’ hanging over my head and angry that it also affects not only my life, but that of my children and grandchildren.

But, thankfully, I also have that optimism in the back of my mind … it’s just there … as it should be. Because there is always hope. I’m still alive. And it’s been 15 years. I have friends and acquaintances who have passed recently who only had months after their diagnosis. Life is not always fair. And I can’t help but wonder … why am I still here? Do I still have some mission that I haven’t accomplished yet? Some stone unturned? A goal that I set for myself when I came back as this persona – yes, I do believe that we return. 😉 Whatever it is, I will wait for it … and hope I recognize it when it happens. And for the record -  If optimism is what is keeping me here, then I guess I’m in it for the long haul!

The moral to this story? Enjoy your life. If my friends David, Dwain, Anna, Angus, Dave, and others were here, they would tell you the exact same thing. Don’t take anything for granted. Oh, and one more thing. My Mother was right, but with one exception …. Time does fly, but you don’t always get older to find that out. R.I.P. my friends.

Until next time …….

B-Optimistic  😊

GCT - The Saga Continues

Well, it became official a few weeks ago - following confirmation from a CT Scan - that I am once again facing a GCT recurrence. I went 4 years this time before the tell-tale pain in my side hit, but I was thrown off a bit because there had been no other cues - no persistent cough, no loss of appetite, no common symptoms at all. The pain lasted only long enough for me to make the decision to seek out medical attention, but has been absent since that time. So, for the past couple of months, I have lived life as usual, with nothing to slow me down. But the verdict is in, it is there, and it must come out.

I saw my Oncologist in Halifax, N.S. this past Thursday. We discussed the potential complications that could transpire with surgery - nothing different from previous pre-surgery discussions - but with each subsequent surgery, the risks do become magnified. I could have chosen the option to wait and watch, but in my mind that just increased the risks for when the time came that I did have to have the surgery. So onward we go!

Christmas this year will be spent either in hospital or at home recuperating from surgery, but that is fine. And this year my list to Santa is just a little different. Rather than asking him to bring me something, I am asking him to take something away!! Won't he be surprised! HOHOHO

Until next time ....
~ BOptimistic (in spite of it all) ~

Ovarian Cancer Links

Have you been diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer? I just discovered two wonderful links that might be just what the doctor would order -

https://www.inspire.com/ lets you connect with others who have been diagnosed with Ovarian cancer
AND
http://www.ovariancancer.org/ contains multiple resources (including a link where you can track your symptoms)

Check them out to see if they are what you are looking for!!

My Cancer Story: Surviving Granulosa Cell Tumours

MY STORY
I was initially diagnosed with Granulosa Cell Tumours (GCT), a variant of Sex-Chord Stromal Tumours of the ovary, in 2002 and have undergone 3 surgeries to remove tumours since that time, my latest on May 15, 2008. To date I have not been “victimized” by chemotherapy treatments, much to my delight. My Oncologist knows that I would prefer not to go this route but I will consider it if he feels it is necessary, especially since the cancer returned so quickly this last time. My resistance is legitimate. Chemo has been administered in GCT cases, but it has not been proven effective. I have always been an optimistic person and I remain positive even facing a life with cancer. I must admit, however, that even my positivism has been shaken somewhat with this last recurrence and I know that should I face future recurrences, each one will be more difficult to deal with. I refuse, however, to crawl under the covers and feel sorry for myself; I prefer to remain optimistic. Don't get me wrong, I do have spells where the frustration of having Cancer becomes overwhelming and the tears flow freely. But it never lasts long. I never have to look far to find someone in a worse situation and that makes me appreciate the good things that I have in my life. I am not in denial; however, I will live my life to its fullest between recurrences.

MY CANCER HISTORY - SYMPTOMS:
I had problems with heavy periods for years. In the early 1990’s my Gynecologist informed me that I had a fibroid tumour that, should it start causing pain or other problems, would have to be removed and a hysterectomy performed. However, if it did not grow too quickly, I may make it to menopause and it would probably shrink at that time. I dodged that surgery for years, mainly because I never experienced symptoms severe enough to warrant it. Birth control kept the periods regular and light. Perhaps I should have jumped in right away and had it done; it may have prevented what was to become my future.

In September 2001, I was overcome with an extreme pain in the lower left abdominal area that doubled me over and resulted in my going to the emergency room 6 hours later for meds for pain and nausea. I was referred to the ER in a larger center the following day where I was examined by several ER doctors who felt my symptoms were related to a gastrointestinal problem – probably diverticulitis. A bowel exam (Barium enema) eliminated the probability of anything more severe. I was given a list of foods to avoid. A CT Scan was hinted at but never ordered. Over the next few months I experienced excessive gas & bloating. I was tired and had frequent naps, a discomfort in the abdominal area with some tenderness, slight nausea on occasion, and even when I was extremely hungry I felt full after only a few mouthfuls of food. I did not have any weight loss or gain, but my clothes seemed tighter. I began to experience urinary incontinence and a persistent cough from a cold that hung with me for over two months. In April 2002 I went to see my family doctor with the complaint of a "pregnant stomach" - hard and swollen – looking like I was about six-months pregnant. He immediately scheduled an emergency CT Scan which identified a suspicious mass. Within 3 weeks I was in the OR having surgery to remove two growths: a malignant Stage 1C GCT and a non malignant Dermoid Cyst. There was no fibroid in sight. The GCT tumour, unfortunately, was thin-shelled and ruptured when the surgeon attempted to remove it. Fluid from the ruptured sac entered the abdominal cavity and although the area was thoroughly washed, it is possible that this has caused my recurrences. We will never know for sure. I trust that my surgeons did all they could to prevent this. I spent 10 days in hospital.

MY REACTION:
With such fast action, I didn't have a lot of time to react to my diagnosis, which I consider a good thing. I did a lot of research on GCT in that short period (and still do), but learned quickly not to take to heart everything I read. Our bodies all react differently to the form of cancer that we have and it is more important to become familiar with our own symptoms.

MY “RECURRENCE” SYMPTOM SUMMARY:
FIRST RECURRENCE: Surgery January 28, 2007 – 4 tumours removed: SYMPTOMS - Sharp and short-lived pain in the abdomen was an indication that the cancer had returned. The pain was not as severe as the first time, but I still experienced a feeling of tenderness (felt like too many sit-ups in one session) for several days following this episode. No pain in my shoulders, but all other symptoms were the same and, once again, no weight loss.
SECOND RECURRENCE: Surgery May 15, 2008 – 1 tumour and several nodes removed: SYMPTOMS - Shooting pain in my lower left abdomen on December 17, 2007 followed by bouts of mild nausea, headaches, achiness, and a fairly constant tiredness about a month later. I had started a new job that involved shift work and I found it really upset my system. I quit the job (which I wasn't enjoying anyway) and after a month only the occasional headache and the need for naps remained. Based on this, I expect that the symptoms of this disease are most definitely enhanced by stress, but can also be missed when you are living/working in a stressful environment. A CT Scan in February 2008 confirmed my suspicions. As the surgery date drew closer, I began to experience more gassiness and discomfort in the abdominal area. No weight loss.

"New onset acne" has also been present throughout my history with GCT. I just confirmed that this is, indeed, also a symptom of stromal tumours!

LIVING WITH CANCER:
It is very important to be aware of your body. Don't credit minor aches and pains with getting older - keep track of each change in your body as you age as there may be an underlying cause. I keep a journal of personal symptoms for reference which I would suggest everyone do. Be constantly aware of changes in your own body – don’t expect that your symptoms will be the same as mine. Although we all may have similar symptoms, there are some that may be more prominent for each of us in the early detection of this cancer, or any cancer for that matter.

I communicate with other GCT patients on various cancer websites and I find it reassuring that I am not alone in this fight. Exchanging information can be useful in becoming aware of diagnosis and treatment options, especially when your cancer is rare. I hope to be able to help others by talking about my experiences with GCT. I welcome any questions, feedback, or just a request to chat.

I may never be secure in the thought that the cancer will not return. But each day I give thanks for my healing, my survival, and my ability to pull myself back up when life takes a downward spiral.

There's an old saying: What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. My belief in this philosophy has increased ten-fold in the past 6 years!!

Until next time ....
~ B-Optimistic ~