Time Flies When You’re Having Fun!!

I’ve been very slack with my blog of late, but you can look at this as a good sign. When things are going well, I have less thoughts of the cancer that has plagued my life for the past seven years. Not to brag, but I’m feeling pretty damned good!!

There has been a lot of fun and festivity in my life over the past several months. Of course with Christmas and young grandchildren, there is always much joy in the Christmas season. They do grow up too fast though and I dread the stage in their lives when they no longer believe in Santa. We love seeing the looks on their faces when they open their presents on Christmas morning. I sometimes wonder if we’ll be around to witness that same look of wonderment on the faces of our great grandchildren? Sure, why not? Be optimistic, right?? Haha

Retirement has finally arrived for my husband and it isn’t half as bad as I thought it would be having someone else around the house all day. However, it’s only been a couple of weeks … I’ll check back with you in a couple of months! But seriously, I find that I am enjoying the company. I didn’t realize how much I have been talking to myself since Rocky (my dog and right hand guy) hasn't been here to listen to me; I also hadn’t realized how lonely it was without my canine’s company until I had human company. So it really is nice to have a distraction once in awhile.

Hubby and I are both anxiously waiting for dry roads and free time to cruise “topless” whenever the urge strikes. I’m sure there will be no road untraveled! Winter here on the east coast has been amazing this year, with just enough snow for the outdoor enthusiasts, but clear roads for the travelers. I can almost smell spring in the air!

I’m still researching the art of book writing. Wow, there certainly is a lot to learn and lots to know! I think it’s time now to put what I’ve learned into practice. Wish me luck! I probably don’t know what I’m getting into ……

And on that note, it’s a gorgeous sunny day here in my hometown and perfect lighting to start a new painting. So it’s time to get moving. So much to do ... so much fun to be had!

Until next time . . . .

~ B-Optimistic ~

Letting Go and Taking Control

Today I decided I had to take back control of my life. Over the past couple of months I have noticed myself falling once again into my old habit of getting too involved in the lives of my friends and family; taking on their problems as if they are my own. And it was taking its toll on my mind and body.

Physically, I was starting to feel the anxiety; Pains, tightness, and tenseness in my chest from fretting and worrying. Mentally, I was unable to focus on any one specific task at home and couldn’t motivate myself to start or finish any projects that needed to be done. It all just seemed to be too overwhelming so I haven’t done anything.

The fact that we’ve had only a few days of full blown sunshine over the past couple of months probably hasn’t helped my mental attitude. I have very little patience and seem to get angry way too easily … guess you’d say I was “sweating the small stuff.”

Today was the turning point. The sun was shining this morning and my husband and I took off for a solo cruise in the Miata. I had a difficult time relaxing at first even though I so enjoy our cruises. The tenseness in my chest was so much more obvious today. So I made the decision that I had to let go for my health; I had to let go of my fears for my brother and brother-in-law and their personal battles with cancer; I had to realize that the household tasks that need to be done outside are not going to get done until the weatherman quits calling for rain.

I started repeating in my head: My life is good. I have my health. I must let go of others problems. Over and over I said this. Soon the tenseness left me. The anxiety dissipated. After ½ hour of driving and repeating these statements in my head, I was able to relax and enjoy the day!!

I know it won’t be easy. It’s hard for me to not think of the issues that those close to me face on a daily basis. But I just have to remember not to personalize their problems any longer. I can still care. I just have to ensure I don't literally “feel” their pain.

They say that you can change a habit with three weeks of repetition. I am hoping this theory will help me change this habit!! Wish me luck …..

Until next time ……..
~ BOptimistic ~