Cancer All Around

Life is good for me when the blog is not overloaded with entries. It’s been about six weeks since my last note and a lot has happened in the cancer world; not so much for me, but for people around me.

My brother-in-law, who is going to be 75 this year, has been diagnosed with cancer. He has growths on both vocal chords. We all suspected something was up. His voice has been raspy for months now. But he had also been told many years ago the raspy voice he was experiencing at that time was precancerous; that he should stop smoking immediately. He did. For awhile. At least he quit the cigarettes. But he started smoking those little cigars instead. Too bad. He’ll be starting his 35 radiation treatments in the next week or two. At 5 treatments per week, that’s 7 weeks (not including weekends) that he’ll spend at the hostile. Hopefully there are no complications for him; there is the possibility that the reduced airway passage could become blocked during treatment. That’s a scary thought for all of us; but probably much more frightening for him. Although he will be the last to admit it, I’m sure.

My brother, who is also in his mid 70’s, has been receiving chemo treatments in an effort to keep his Multiple Myeloma at bay. He’s not doing so well this past week. The treatment has recently turned on him and he is having a lot of problems like shortness of breath and stomach issues. His wife, who is not well herself and suffers from what is commonly known as “the sleeping sickness,” is very concerned. This is my brother’s second experience with cancer. He won the battle over prostrate cancer many years ago.

And, to add insult to injury, his daughter just went through an ordeal that started out as a simple day surgery and blossomed into an all out major ordeal with the removal of a lump in her breast the size of an orange along with several other smaller masses. She is home, sore but recovering. The doctor is certain that her lumps were benign! Yahoo!

My friend’s husband, who is only 57 years old, had prostrate surgery a few weeks back, but thankfully his news was very good. The cancer had not spread and he does not have to face any type of treatment!! Way to go, my friend!

A friend of my nephew’s was also diagnosed with prostrate cancer a couple of months ago but he, unfortunately, did not receive the same good news. At 54 years of age, his prognosis is only 3 years with treatment and 1 year without. I can’t imagine what he is going through at such a young age.

My cousin’s brother-in-law, who is in his 80’s, recently had a serious fall and through a series of tests and x-rays, it was discovered that he has spots on his lungs and bone cancer and really has a lot of other strikes against him right now, including dementia. How sad for his wife and family who now visit him on a daily basis, a 40 minute drive one way. He, and they, are dealing with a lot more than any of them can probably handle.

My blogger friend, Jen, has also been diagnosed with a recurrence of GCT and has, fortunately, found a new and promising physician who won’t put her through any unnecessary treatments. She’s an upbeat lady and I know that the road she is travelling is rough, but she will persevere and remain strong through her faith.

So, although I am presently feeling fabulous and hopefully cancer free, cancer is still forefront in my mind. And it will also be the main topic of my prayers.

I do hope that those I have spoken of today can keep their eyes on the prize and remember to ……

~ B-Optimistic ~

From Zero to 60 and Back Again

I have been going through a lot of emotional ups and downs over the past couple of weeks since losing my canine companion, Rocky. Fortunately, I have great friends that help keep my mind occupied and my spirits high.

It’s when I’m alone that it hits home and I experience those silly little emotional moments that really catch me unawares; wiping dog nose prints off of windows, putting leftover spaghetti (one of Rocky’s favourite things) in the garbage can rather than in his bowl, and most importantly, not having him to cuddle into the back of my knees when I go to sleep.

But, for the most part, I’m doing okay and a recent unexpected occurrence has made me realize just how insignificant my situation is.

My husband and I bought a little convertible a few years ago and we love to take off on sunny days and just go where the wind blows us. Our hobby has brought us into an amazing circle of friends; some who were once just acquaintances but who have become fast friends and a few new people that we are thrilled to know. We all get together every so often for a bit of social fun – movie, bowling, dinner, day cruises in our cars.

Patsy and her husband, Jack (not their real names) were infrequent participants in our “group of twelve” activities, so my husband and I were just beginning to get to know them. They always seemed to be quite happy and well suited for each other; no sign of turmoil in their relationship that any of us were aware of – not even those who knew them well.

I just discovered over the weekend that Patsy and Jack decided that their marriage of 22 years was over and it was time to make the split. You see, Jack apparently hasn’t heard the saying, “The grass might look greener on the other side, but it still needs to be mowed,” and he has been doing some alternate landscaping for the past year or more.

This news came right out of left field and presented all of us with food for fodder. Nothing could have lessened the shock for any of us. So, needless to say, they were the topic of conversation over dinner when we joined our little circle of friends this past Saturday evening. It was definitely not a gossip session; we are all genuinely concerned for our friend Patsy and flabbergasted that Jack made the choice that he has.

I won’t speak for the men, but we ladies admitted to being very comfortable in our long marriages, with most of us married for more than 25 years. But we also confessed that the foundation of our own relationships has been given a little shake with the news of Patsy and her husband’s split.

We also had varied opinions about what we would do if it had happened to us. Two stated adamantly that hubby would have been served something delicate on a plate and then tossed to the side of the road; two more would definitely serve the entrée, but were a bit more concerned and less certain about their reactions to the possibility of living without their mate; and the fifth admitted that she would be totally devastated if this ever happened.

There are probably many things that our little group will never know about Patsy and Jack’s marriage. But what we do know for sure is that the other woman (who was not a member of our group) set her sights on Jack and he was obviously a willing participant. Could this ever happen to us? Of course; we are not naïve. We all know that there is always that “other woman” waiting in the wings …….

Life is full of gains and losses, ups and downs, joy and sadness. My heart goes out to our friend, Patsy, who I can guarantee is facing something a whole lot more difficult than wiping nose prints off a window. For Patsy, there will never be closure; those spontaneous memories will haunt her every time she looks at a family photo or wears a particular piece of clothing or jewellery. How often will she read an article and turn to share it with Jack, only to find him no longer there? Patsy’s life has been forever changed and 22 years of marriage and memories will follow her no matter where she goes.

I don’t believe that any of us can, nor want to, fathom what Patsy is going through right now. But we, her friends – both male and female - will be there to support her.

And we all realize that some days it is just a bit more difficult to …..

~ B-Optimistic ~