Over the past several months I have had an insatiable appetite for inspirational stories of cancer survivors, reading numerous books for both personal and for professional reasons. As I peruse through the lives of others who have been affected by cancer, I find that it gives me hope and allows me the opportunity to more fully understand the emotions I experience daily – like a roller coaster ride gone wild; and to know that these emotions are normal and not reflective of some inner mental breakdown that will eventually take me to the depths of hell.
This morning as I reviewed a book by Lori Hope entitled, “Help me Live: 20 things people with cancer want you to know”, I found a treasure in words written from the viewpoint of someone going through the unknowns of a life with cancer - Lori herself. Lori compares the feeling of travelling on a train and being rapidly thrown from the brightness of day into the deep darkness of the tunnels with the emotions she experiences when asked whether she has been cured of cancer.
Quoting from her afterword on page 199, this is what Lori writes: “Like going through an unfamiliar tunnel, you have no idea how long you will remain in the dark. And you have no idea what the world will look like when you come out the other end. You cannot know when darkness will overtake you again, shutting out all light. You may pop out for a hundred yards or so and delight in the beauty, only to enter another tunnel and hurtle through darkness again.”
Living in a small community, I am frequently asked how I am doing. I am amazed and humbled by the fact so many people care; and I relish the days when I feel absolutely amazing and am able to honestly tell them so. But there are the occasional dark days when I’d like to say: “The internal workings of my body are a mystery and I will always have the black cloud of cancer hanging over my head, never knowing when and if it might invade my inner sanctum once again. How do you think I’m feeling?” Fortunately, being the optimist that I am, those days are few and far between!
I thank you, Lori, for providing me with a less callous way of expressing my inner thoughts!
Until next time …..
~ B-Optimistic ~
Note: Lori's book, published by Celestial Arts in 2005, is a great read and full of insight, with 20 sections to help everyone understand what is going through a cancer survivor's mind; from how to be a good listener to why we might lose our tempers or cry at the drop of a hat. If you are a friend, caregiver, or even a cancer survivor, check it out.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Procrastination ...... What if There is No Tomorrow??
Have you ever wanted to do something so intensely that you eat it, breathe it, and sleep it? But then never get it done because .... Well, because of a fear of failure, a fear of the unknown, a fear of rejection, or perhaps a fear of (fill in the blank).
That’s me. I’m putting my dreams off - again. I have wanted to write for as long as I can remember; any kind of book – children’s book, cookbook, murder mystery. I even thought of writing one of those raunchy romance novels!!
I always seem to do all the research, read the “how-to” books, get myself all geared up, and then sizzle .... The fire goes out.
I know there’s a book or two in there. They have to come out. OK, there’s a little déjà-vu going on right here, right now! I said the same thing with the cancer and with my two pregnancies. Hmmmm .... I’m starting to sense a theme ....
So stay tuned. I am going to purge these ideas that are churning inside and fulfill that desire, once and for all!! Now, where did I leave my notebook?
Until next time .....
~ B-Optimistic ~
That’s me. I’m putting my dreams off - again. I have wanted to write for as long as I can remember; any kind of book – children’s book, cookbook, murder mystery. I even thought of writing one of those raunchy romance novels!!
I always seem to do all the research, read the “how-to” books, get myself all geared up, and then sizzle .... The fire goes out.
I know there’s a book or two in there. They have to come out. OK, there’s a little déjà-vu going on right here, right now! I said the same thing with the cancer and with my two pregnancies. Hmmmm .... I’m starting to sense a theme ....
So stay tuned. I am going to purge these ideas that are churning inside and fulfill that desire, once and for all!! Now, where did I leave my notebook?
Until next time .....
~ B-Optimistic ~
Thursday, October 16, 2008
My Cancer Story: Surviving Granulosa Cell Tumours
MY STORY
I was initially diagnosed with Granulosa Cell Tumours (GCT), a variant of Sex-Chord Stromal Tumours of the ovary, in 2002 and have undergone 3 surgeries to remove tumours since that time, my latest on May 15, 2008. To date I have not been “victimized” by chemotherapy treatments, much to my delight. My Oncologist knows that I would prefer not to go this route but I will consider it if he feels it is necessary, especially since the cancer returned so quickly this last time. My resistance is legitimate. Chemo has been administered in GCT cases, but it has not been proven effective. I have always been an optimistic person and I remain positive even facing a life with cancer. I must admit, however, that even my positivism has been shaken somewhat with this last recurrence and I know that should I face future recurrences, each one will be more difficult to deal with. I refuse, however, to crawl under the covers and feel sorry for myself; I prefer to remain optimistic. Don't get me wrong, I do have spells where the frustration of having Cancer becomes overwhelming and the tears flow freely. But it never lasts long. I never have to look far to find someone in a worse situation and that makes me appreciate the good things that I have in my life. I am not in denial; however, I will live my life to its fullest between recurrences.
MY CANCER HISTORY - SYMPTOMS:
I had problems with heavy periods for years. In the early 1990’s my Gynecologist informed me that I had a fibroid tumour that, should it start causing pain or other problems, would have to be removed and a hysterectomy performed. However, if it did not grow too quickly, I may make it to menopause and it would probably shrink at that time. I dodged that surgery for years, mainly because I never experienced symptoms severe enough to warrant it. Birth control kept the periods regular and light. Perhaps I should have jumped in right away and had it done; it may have prevented what was to become my future.
In September 2001, I was overcome with an extreme pain in the lower left abdominal area that doubled me over and resulted in my going to the emergency room 6 hours later for meds for pain and nausea. I was referred to the ER in a larger center the following day where I was examined by several ER doctors who felt my symptoms were related to a gastrointestinal problem – probably diverticulitis. A bowel exam (Barium enema) eliminated the probability of anything more severe. I was given a list of foods to avoid. A CT Scan was hinted at but never ordered. Over the next few months I experienced excessive gas & bloating. I was tired and had frequent naps, a discomfort in the abdominal area with some tenderness, slight nausea on occasion, and even when I was extremely hungry I felt full after only a few mouthfuls of food. I did not have any weight loss or gain, but my clothes seemed tighter. I began to experience urinary incontinence and a persistent cough from a cold that hung with me for over two months. In April 2002 I went to see my family doctor with the complaint of a "pregnant stomach" - hard and swollen – looking like I was about six-months pregnant. He immediately scheduled an emergency CT Scan which identified a suspicious mass. Within 3 weeks I was in the OR having surgery to remove two growths: a malignant Stage 1C GCT and a non malignant Dermoid Cyst. There was no fibroid in sight. The GCT tumour, unfortunately, was thin-shelled and ruptured when the surgeon attempted to remove it. Fluid from the ruptured sac entered the abdominal cavity and although the area was thoroughly washed, it is possible that this has caused my recurrences. We will never know for sure. I trust that my surgeons did all they could to prevent this. I spent 10 days in hospital.
MY REACTION:
With such fast action, I didn't have a lot of time to react to my diagnosis, which I consider a good thing. I did a lot of research on GCT in that short period (and still do), but learned quickly not to take to heart everything I read. Our bodies all react differently to the form of cancer that we have and it is more important to become familiar with our own symptoms.
MY “RECURRENCE” SYMPTOM SUMMARY:
FIRST RECURRENCE: Surgery January 28, 2007 – 4 tumours removed: SYMPTOMS - Sharp and short-lived pain in the abdomen was an indication that the cancer had returned. The pain was not as severe as the first time, but I still experienced a feeling of tenderness (felt like too many sit-ups in one session) for several days following this episode. No pain in my shoulders, but all other symptoms were the same and, once again, no weight loss.
SECOND RECURRENCE: Surgery May 15, 2008 – 1 tumour and several nodes removed: SYMPTOMS - Shooting pain in my lower left abdomen on December 17, 2007 followed by bouts of mild nausea, headaches, achiness, and a fairly constant tiredness about a month later. I had started a new job that involved shift work and I found it really upset my system. I quit the job (which I wasn't enjoying anyway) and after a month only the occasional headache and the need for naps remained. Based on this, I expect that the symptoms of this disease are most definitely enhanced by stress, but can also be missed when you are living/working in a stressful environment. A CT Scan in February 2008 confirmed my suspicions. As the surgery date drew closer, I began to experience more gassiness and discomfort in the abdominal area. No weight loss.
"New onset acne" has also been present throughout my history with GCT. I just confirmed that this is, indeed, also a symptom of stromal tumours!
LIVING WITH CANCER:
It is very important to be aware of your body. Don't credit minor aches and pains with getting older - keep track of each change in your body as you age as there may be an underlying cause. I keep a journal of personal symptoms for reference which I would suggest everyone do. Be constantly aware of changes in your own body – don’t expect that your symptoms will be the same as mine. Although we all may have similar symptoms, there are some that may be more prominent for each of us in the early detection of this cancer, or any cancer for that matter.
I communicate with other GCT patients on various cancer websites and I find it reassuring that I am not alone in this fight. Exchanging information can be useful in becoming aware of diagnosis and treatment options, especially when your cancer is rare. I hope to be able to help others by talking about my experiences with GCT. I welcome any questions, feedback, or just a request to chat.
I may never be secure in the thought that the cancer will not return. But each day I give thanks for my healing, my survival, and my ability to pull myself back up when life takes a downward spiral.
There's an old saying: What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. My belief in this philosophy has increased ten-fold in the past 6 years!!
Until next time ....
~ B-Optimistic ~
I was initially diagnosed with Granulosa Cell Tumours (GCT), a variant of Sex-Chord Stromal Tumours of the ovary, in 2002 and have undergone 3 surgeries to remove tumours since that time, my latest on May 15, 2008. To date I have not been “victimized” by chemotherapy treatments, much to my delight. My Oncologist knows that I would prefer not to go this route but I will consider it if he feels it is necessary, especially since the cancer returned so quickly this last time. My resistance is legitimate. Chemo has been administered in GCT cases, but it has not been proven effective. I have always been an optimistic person and I remain positive even facing a life with cancer. I must admit, however, that even my positivism has been shaken somewhat with this last recurrence and I know that should I face future recurrences, each one will be more difficult to deal with. I refuse, however, to crawl under the covers and feel sorry for myself; I prefer to remain optimistic. Don't get me wrong, I do have spells where the frustration of having Cancer becomes overwhelming and the tears flow freely. But it never lasts long. I never have to look far to find someone in a worse situation and that makes me appreciate the good things that I have in my life. I am not in denial; however, I will live my life to its fullest between recurrences.
MY CANCER HISTORY - SYMPTOMS:
I had problems with heavy periods for years. In the early 1990’s my Gynecologist informed me that I had a fibroid tumour that, should it start causing pain or other problems, would have to be removed and a hysterectomy performed. However, if it did not grow too quickly, I may make it to menopause and it would probably shrink at that time. I dodged that surgery for years, mainly because I never experienced symptoms severe enough to warrant it. Birth control kept the periods regular and light. Perhaps I should have jumped in right away and had it done; it may have prevented what was to become my future.
In September 2001, I was overcome with an extreme pain in the lower left abdominal area that doubled me over and resulted in my going to the emergency room 6 hours later for meds for pain and nausea. I was referred to the ER in a larger center the following day where I was examined by several ER doctors who felt my symptoms were related to a gastrointestinal problem – probably diverticulitis. A bowel exam (Barium enema) eliminated the probability of anything more severe. I was given a list of foods to avoid. A CT Scan was hinted at but never ordered. Over the next few months I experienced excessive gas & bloating. I was tired and had frequent naps, a discomfort in the abdominal area with some tenderness, slight nausea on occasion, and even when I was extremely hungry I felt full after only a few mouthfuls of food. I did not have any weight loss or gain, but my clothes seemed tighter. I began to experience urinary incontinence and a persistent cough from a cold that hung with me for over two months. In April 2002 I went to see my family doctor with the complaint of a "pregnant stomach" - hard and swollen – looking like I was about six-months pregnant. He immediately scheduled an emergency CT Scan which identified a suspicious mass. Within 3 weeks I was in the OR having surgery to remove two growths: a malignant Stage 1C GCT and a non malignant Dermoid Cyst. There was no fibroid in sight. The GCT tumour, unfortunately, was thin-shelled and ruptured when the surgeon attempted to remove it. Fluid from the ruptured sac entered the abdominal cavity and although the area was thoroughly washed, it is possible that this has caused my recurrences. We will never know for sure. I trust that my surgeons did all they could to prevent this. I spent 10 days in hospital.
MY REACTION:
With such fast action, I didn't have a lot of time to react to my diagnosis, which I consider a good thing. I did a lot of research on GCT in that short period (and still do), but learned quickly not to take to heart everything I read. Our bodies all react differently to the form of cancer that we have and it is more important to become familiar with our own symptoms.
MY “RECURRENCE” SYMPTOM SUMMARY:
FIRST RECURRENCE: Surgery January 28, 2007 – 4 tumours removed: SYMPTOMS - Sharp and short-lived pain in the abdomen was an indication that the cancer had returned. The pain was not as severe as the first time, but I still experienced a feeling of tenderness (felt like too many sit-ups in one session) for several days following this episode. No pain in my shoulders, but all other symptoms were the same and, once again, no weight loss.
SECOND RECURRENCE: Surgery May 15, 2008 – 1 tumour and several nodes removed: SYMPTOMS - Shooting pain in my lower left abdomen on December 17, 2007 followed by bouts of mild nausea, headaches, achiness, and a fairly constant tiredness about a month later. I had started a new job that involved shift work and I found it really upset my system. I quit the job (which I wasn't enjoying anyway) and after a month only the occasional headache and the need for naps remained. Based on this, I expect that the symptoms of this disease are most definitely enhanced by stress, but can also be missed when you are living/working in a stressful environment. A CT Scan in February 2008 confirmed my suspicions. As the surgery date drew closer, I began to experience more gassiness and discomfort in the abdominal area. No weight loss.
"New onset acne" has also been present throughout my history with GCT. I just confirmed that this is, indeed, also a symptom of stromal tumours!
LIVING WITH CANCER:
It is very important to be aware of your body. Don't credit minor aches and pains with getting older - keep track of each change in your body as you age as there may be an underlying cause. I keep a journal of personal symptoms for reference which I would suggest everyone do. Be constantly aware of changes in your own body – don’t expect that your symptoms will be the same as mine. Although we all may have similar symptoms, there are some that may be more prominent for each of us in the early detection of this cancer, or any cancer for that matter.
I communicate with other GCT patients on various cancer websites and I find it reassuring that I am not alone in this fight. Exchanging information can be useful in becoming aware of diagnosis and treatment options, especially when your cancer is rare. I hope to be able to help others by talking about my experiences with GCT. I welcome any questions, feedback, or just a request to chat.
I may never be secure in the thought that the cancer will not return. But each day I give thanks for my healing, my survival, and my ability to pull myself back up when life takes a downward spiral.
There's an old saying: What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. My belief in this philosophy has increased ten-fold in the past 6 years!!
Until next time ....
~ B-Optimistic ~
Monday, October 6, 2008
Spirituality on My Own Terms
Every so often I find myself focused too intently on cancer and, more specifically, the possibility of its return. There are no physical symptoms to bring it to my attention; it's just a mental glitch in my thought processes that began to plague me earlier this year when I was faced with my third surgery. The cancer reappeared too quickly last time and even though there is the "slightest" chance it will not return for several years, I find myself constantly watching for symptoms.
This overwhelming dread of "a cancer returned" struck me several times over the past week or so. I have no explanation why; there has been nothing obvious to draw me into the vortex of doom. It's just a fear; a shadow lurking in the dark recesses of my mind.
So what does this have to do with sprituality? My spirituality - my belief in a higher power - is my saving grace. It's the reason these dark thoughts do not take up residence; why I no longer dwell for days on the possibility of a recurrence; and why cancer has not taken over my life.
I am not a church goer. I did, however, attend a Pentecostal Sunday School until I was 15 years old, so I have a good knowledge base of "fire and brimstone".
I lost faith in the human transmission of God's word when one of those famous TV Evangelists locked himself in a tower and declared that unless viewers donated a million dollars to his ministry, God would strike him dead (or something similar to that). And I can still see the face of another TV Evangelist, distorted in a dramatical display of tears and pain, crying fervently for forgiveness - from God and the people - after his escapades with a prostitute became public. This guy reminded me of a child who, at any moment, might open one eye just to check and see if anyone is watching. And really people .... why all the glitz and glamour; makeup and false eyelashes; dramatics and deceit????
OK, perhaps there are individuals who actually get something from these "prophets of God" and I guess some people need a little reinforcement every so often. But personally, I prefer the direct line approach. For the record, I believe in guardian angels, higher beings, and God. So whoever is available at the moment is who I talk to and we have discussed my situation many times over the past 6 years.
I must admit, I had a difficult time at first letting go of my fear, leaving it in my higher being's (HB's) hands; just walking away. But this past few months it has gotten much easier. When the anxiety begins to overtake me, I pass my problems to HB, take a deep breath, put on a big smile, and face life and it's many obstacles with a new determination and a positive outlook.
After all, qu'est cera, cera!! What will be, will be. I'm not going to waste my time worrying about what is in store for me down the road. I'll just deal with each speed bump in the highway of life when, and if, I have to. Until then, HB is my "baggage" handler and he/she is taking really good care of me!!
Until next time .....
~ B-Optimistic ~
It's October 19th - a beautiful Sunday morning - and I have just found this blog - which I find to be an interesting addendum to my original post. In his blog, "dhamma musings", Shravasti Dhammika talks about another Pentecostal preacher who deceived his congregation. I hadn't heard about this one .... Check it out for yourself .... http://sdhammika.blogspot.com/2008/10/heal-thyself.html
And I would certainly be interested in reading similar stories of deceit as it strengthens my conviction to maintain a direct line with my own personal higher being!! Please send them my way .......
This overwhelming dread of "a cancer returned" struck me several times over the past week or so. I have no explanation why; there has been nothing obvious to draw me into the vortex of doom. It's just a fear; a shadow lurking in the dark recesses of my mind.
So what does this have to do with sprituality? My spirituality - my belief in a higher power - is my saving grace. It's the reason these dark thoughts do not take up residence; why I no longer dwell for days on the possibility of a recurrence; and why cancer has not taken over my life.
I am not a church goer. I did, however, attend a Pentecostal Sunday School until I was 15 years old, so I have a good knowledge base of "fire and brimstone".
I lost faith in the human transmission of God's word when one of those famous TV Evangelists locked himself in a tower and declared that unless viewers donated a million dollars to his ministry, God would strike him dead (or something similar to that). And I can still see the face of another TV Evangelist, distorted in a dramatical display of tears and pain, crying fervently for forgiveness - from God and the people - after his escapades with a prostitute became public. This guy reminded me of a child who, at any moment, might open one eye just to check and see if anyone is watching. And really people .... why all the glitz and glamour; makeup and false eyelashes; dramatics and deceit????
OK, perhaps there are individuals who actually get something from these "prophets of God" and I guess some people need a little reinforcement every so often. But personally, I prefer the direct line approach. For the record, I believe in guardian angels, higher beings, and God. So whoever is available at the moment is who I talk to and we have discussed my situation many times over the past 6 years.
I must admit, I had a difficult time at first letting go of my fear, leaving it in my higher being's (HB's) hands; just walking away. But this past few months it has gotten much easier. When the anxiety begins to overtake me, I pass my problems to HB, take a deep breath, put on a big smile, and face life and it's many obstacles with a new determination and a positive outlook.
After all, qu'est cera, cera!! What will be, will be. I'm not going to waste my time worrying about what is in store for me down the road. I'll just deal with each speed bump in the highway of life when, and if, I have to. Until then, HB is my "baggage" handler and he/she is taking really good care of me!!
Until next time .....
~ B-Optimistic ~
It's October 19th - a beautiful Sunday morning - and I have just found this blog - which I find to be an interesting addendum to my original post. In his blog, "dhamma musings", Shravasti Dhammika talks about another Pentecostal preacher who deceived his congregation. I hadn't heard about this one .... Check it out for yourself .... http://sdhammika.blogspot.com/2008/10/heal-thyself.html
And I would certainly be interested in reading similar stories of deceit as it strengthens my conviction to maintain a direct line with my own personal higher being!! Please send them my way .......
Thursday, October 2, 2008
The Secret ......
Last night I finally unwrapped and started watching The Secret. I bought the DVD late last winter after a friend loaned me her copy. How much do I believe in this concept? A lot!!
I've always been an optimist and my husband always told me I must have a "lucky horseshoe" because "luck" seemed to come my way. But I accredited any good fortune to "being in the right place at the right time." The Secret takes it just beyond that ... describing how you can consciously attract to you what it is that you most desire in life; money, relationships, health ... whatever floats your boat.
So, I guess being in the right place at the right time must mean that I've practiced a wee bit of The Secret's philosophy. Basically, this is what The Secret says: What you think is what you get. If you think negative thoughts, then that is what you will attract to your life: negative things. Likewise, if you think positive thoughts .... well, you get my drift.
So how did I end up with cancer if, unconsciously, I've always put out positive vibes? I've done a lot of thinking about that. I discovered that I started putting out negative health vibes when I was a teenager working in a small rural post office handing out mail. Each day I would make small talk with the same people, watching them come and go. There were several who, to me, appeared to be old and feeble and who had a difficult time getting around. I told myself, and my husband (who I was dating at the time), that I never wanted to live to be "that" old. For years I maintained this same thought process; anytime I would see someone frail I would utter the same wish under my breath.
Then, commencing a few years later when we had young sons, I remember frequently asking that higher power to allow me to live long enough in life to see my children grown and settled. I just couldn't bear the thought that they would have to grow up without me in their life.
So, when I watched The Secret the first time earlier this year, I started thinking about these thoughts from my past and a lightbulb went off! I had unconsciously wished for cancer to enter my life!! Okay, maybe not "cancer" specifically. But think about it ..... I got my wish. I had lived long enough to see my children grown! My sons were 24 and 22 when I was first diagnosed; the oldest settled and happy in his own apartment and the youngest just newly graduated from university, off on a working adventure in the great white north. Hmmmm ... makes you think, doesn't it???
But once again "the horsehoe" has been polished. It appears that the powers-that-be realized that I was young and naive and didn't understand that things aren't always as bad as they appear! Remember those folks that looked so old to me; many are still alive and kicking and were probably not all that old back then.
I believe I've been given a second chance; a chance to make new wishes. Fortunately for me, my cancer is not agressive. There is no known cure, but that's today. Who's to say what will be discovered tomorrow. Right this minute I'm sending out positive vibes for a cure ........ and giving thanks several times each day for my healing. :)
Needless to say, I am also sending new family-oriented mental images out to the universe. I plan to live long enough to see my grandchildren become successful and independent. Oh, and I'm also thinking that a huge birthday bash will be in order when I celebrate my 65th birthday in another decade + a few years!!
Until next time ......
~B-Optimistic ~
I've always been an optimist and my husband always told me I must have a "lucky horseshoe" because "luck" seemed to come my way. But I accredited any good fortune to "being in the right place at the right time." The Secret takes it just beyond that ... describing how you can consciously attract to you what it is that you most desire in life; money, relationships, health ... whatever floats your boat.
So, I guess being in the right place at the right time must mean that I've practiced a wee bit of The Secret's philosophy. Basically, this is what The Secret says: What you think is what you get. If you think negative thoughts, then that is what you will attract to your life: negative things. Likewise, if you think positive thoughts .... well, you get my drift.
So how did I end up with cancer if, unconsciously, I've always put out positive vibes? I've done a lot of thinking about that. I discovered that I started putting out negative health vibes when I was a teenager working in a small rural post office handing out mail. Each day I would make small talk with the same people, watching them come and go. There were several who, to me, appeared to be old and feeble and who had a difficult time getting around. I told myself, and my husband (who I was dating at the time), that I never wanted to live to be "that" old. For years I maintained this same thought process; anytime I would see someone frail I would utter the same wish under my breath.
Then, commencing a few years later when we had young sons, I remember frequently asking that higher power to allow me to live long enough in life to see my children grown and settled. I just couldn't bear the thought that they would have to grow up without me in their life.
So, when I watched The Secret the first time earlier this year, I started thinking about these thoughts from my past and a lightbulb went off! I had unconsciously wished for cancer to enter my life!! Okay, maybe not "cancer" specifically. But think about it ..... I got my wish. I had lived long enough to see my children grown! My sons were 24 and 22 when I was first diagnosed; the oldest settled and happy in his own apartment and the youngest just newly graduated from university, off on a working adventure in the great white north. Hmmmm ... makes you think, doesn't it???
But once again "the horsehoe" has been polished. It appears that the powers-that-be realized that I was young and naive and didn't understand that things aren't always as bad as they appear! Remember those folks that looked so old to me; many are still alive and kicking and were probably not all that old back then.
I believe I've been given a second chance; a chance to make new wishes. Fortunately for me, my cancer is not agressive. There is no known cure, but that's today. Who's to say what will be discovered tomorrow. Right this minute I'm sending out positive vibes for a cure ........ and giving thanks several times each day for my healing. :)
Needless to say, I am also sending new family-oriented mental images out to the universe. I plan to live long enough to see my grandchildren become successful and independent. Oh, and I'm also thinking that a huge birthday bash will be in order when I celebrate my 65th birthday in another decade + a few years!!
Until next time ......
~B-Optimistic ~
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Ahhh ... the beauty of autumn leaves!!
Wow! I can’t believe it’s already October 1st!! Where has the summer gone??? The leaves started changing colour back in August, but look at them now!! Mother Nature at her finest! If you don't live in a region with Maple trees, then you need to move!!
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Yesterday was a perfect fall day, leaving me no option but to get out and enjoy it. So my constant companion Rocky and I (my “we-think-he’s-a-whippet” dog) went for a drive; windows lowered enough so that he could stick his snout out the window and sniff, but not low enough that he could do a suicide leap.
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I had no real destination in mind, but remembered that the “Maid Marion” – one of the two largest draglines in Canada – was moving (very slowly) from point A to point B. So my buddy and I found a great vantage point and snapped a few photos. This is one of my favourites: Maid Marion, towering high above the surrounding forest, framed with a vibrancy of colour that words can't describe.
When hubby arrived home yesterday, he suggested that a drive - and dinner out - would be nice; especially since he expected to be working a bit of overtime in the next little while, doing his part in the Maid Marion move. How could I say “no” to an offer like that?? A quick call to our friends to invite them along and soon we were taking a “topless” cruise in our 1990 Miata convertible, they in their 914 Porsche.
I LOVE our little sports car and I am not looking forward to putting it away for the winter. That car has been fabulous therapy for me over the past couple of years. I “laze” in the passenger’s seat, wind all around, sun in my face; de-stressing - not thinking about cancer - and just enjoying the ride. Oh and, of course, taking photos of everything that catches my eye!!
Needless to say, yesterday was a pretty stress-free day!! Today is pretty much of the same, excepting, of course, that I've spent my morning inside working on this, my first blog!!
I LOVE our little sports car and I am not looking forward to putting it away for the winter. That car has been fabulous therapy for me over the past couple of years. I “laze” in the passenger’s seat, wind all around, sun in my face; de-stressing - not thinking about cancer - and just enjoying the ride. Oh and, of course, taking photos of everything that catches my eye!!
Needless to say, yesterday was a pretty stress-free day!! Today is pretty much of the same, excepting, of course, that I've spent my morning inside working on this, my first blog!!
But now, the sun beckons, and I must head out to enjoy the weather ......
Until next time ...
~ B-Optimistic ~
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